SPORTS AGENDA: Man United’s incoming investor Sir Jim Ratcliffe takes a swipe at drama queen Bruno Fernandes in his book… while Arsenal celebrated Declan Rice’s winner at Luton as if ‘they’d won the Premier League’

• United fan Sir Jim Ratcliffe references Bruno Fernandes’ play-acting in his book 
• Football’s dementia fund’s means test has been criticised as ‘bureaucratic’ 
• A character assassination! What it’s like being annihilated and banned THREE times by Fergie – It’s All Kicking Off

The opening page of incoming investor Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s book on the success of his petrochemicals firm Ineos may not make for welcome reading by Manchester United captain Bruno Fernandes.

Introducing Grit, Rigour & Humour: The Ineos Story, Ratcliffe talks of his travels and remembers a trip around the Pacific during which he ‘felt the ground tremble every time a Cook Islander smashed into another in a local rugby match’, adding that one player was ‘carted off in the back of a pick-up with a broken leg’.

Ratcliffe, a lifelong United fan, then pointedly notes that it was ‘a far cry from Bruno Fernandes clutching his untouched face in the Liverpool debacle recently’, presumably referring to the skipper’s embarrassing play-acting during March’s 7-0 Anfield trouncing. Ouch.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe refers to Bruno Fernandes’ embarrassing play-acting in his book, ‘Grit, Rigour & Humour: The Ineos Story’

Fernandes was widely criticised for his histrionics and attitude in Man United’s 7-0 loss to Liverpool in March 

Declan Rice was serenaded with his anthem – to the tune of ‘Ice, Ice Baby’  – after his dramatic winner against Luton Town

Arsenal celebrate ‘winning the league’… against Luton?

Mail Sport revealed that Arsenal serenaded Declan Rice with his anthem — to the tune of Vanilla Ice, Ice Baby — after his stoppage-time goal snatched a dramatic 4-3 win at Luton last week. 

Agenda understands that the raucous celebrations did not end there, with Luton officials taken aback at the subsequent levels of noise and euphoria emanating from the away dressing room. ‘You’d have thought they’d won the league,’ one insider remarked, ‘not nicked a win at little Luton.’

For once, City don’t come to the party… 

Manchester City’s involvement in the Club World Cup means there will be no Christmas party for staff. Each year, City hold a lavish bash which often features surprise appearances from players. 

This time, departments have been given £50 a head for food and drink to arrange their own shindigs instead, with some wondering how far that will stretch on a night out.

Meanwhile, new Bristol Rovers manager Matt Taylor has cancelled the Pirates’ planned Christmas do following their poor run of form.

League One Rovers’ players were expecting to travel to Dublin after Saturday’s draw at home to Cheltenham but those plans were scrapped — much to the frustration of some of the squad.

Manchester City qualified for the Club World Cup thanks to their Champions League win and have cancelled their Christmas Party for staff due to the competition

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IOC tries to prevent nations from taking part in Russia’s Friendship Games 

One-time close friends Vladimir Putin and Thomas Bach appear to have fallen out.

Despite Bach’s International Olympic Committee allowing some Russian athletes to take part as neutrals in next year’s Paris Games, they have gone into overdrive to prevent nations taking part in Russia’s rival event, the Friendship Games, to be staged in Moscow before the Olympics. 

While most European nations will not support what is viewed as a Putin propaganda exercise, it is anticipated there will be more than 65 teams sent from Africa, Asia and Latin America — questioning Bach’s authority ahead of the 2025 IOC presidential elections. 

‘Intrusive and bureaucratic’ means test for football’s dementia fund 

The means test for access to football’s much-vaunted dementia fund has to be seen to be believed. Those seeking a slice of the £1million pot made available by the Premier League and PFA must submit their total monthly income, value of properties, current account balance, any stocks and shares, motor vehicles valued at more than £30,000 and any single item worth over £10,000. Details of any Government support are also requested.

John Stiles – son of Nobby, who won the World Cup with England in 1966 but died with dementia – has called the means test for football’s dementia fund ‘intrusive and bureaucratic’

The questions are so prying that John Stiles, son of Nobby, wrote to respective Premier League and PFA bosses Richard Masters and Maheta Molango that relatives of sufferers ‘are very distressed at the intrusive and bureaucratic nature of the means test you have introduced’. 

Stiles adds: ‘It is clear that the purpose of this cack-handed approach is to ensure that those needing support cannot access the fund. This disgraceful and brazen conduct also brings to mind the worst excesses of the (Gordon) Taylor regime.’

IT’S ALL KICKING OFF! 

It’s All Kicking Off is an exciting new podcast from Mail Sport that promises a different take on Premier League football.

It is available on MailOnline, Mail+, YouTube, Apple Music and Spotify.

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