The sons of tragic football ace Gary Speed have told for the first time how they are still haunted by the memories of finding their beloved dad dead.
And, speaking nine years after Wales manager and Premier League legend Gary was found hanged, Ed and Tommy Speed admit they are still plagued with questions about his death, the Daily Star reports.
Ed, just 14 when his father died, said: “Dad had the perfect life, but something was going on, or something happened. And, for whatever reason, he didn’t look for help.”
Ed, a midfielder like his dad, added: “I can’t explain it now because he just had so much to look forward to.”
He recalled the nightmare moment he realised Gary was gone.
He said: “I was woken up by Mum screaming for me, or just screaming. She was outside and she had seen Dad through the window of the garage.
“I ran downstairs and she was struggling to breathe and talk. You know, you don’t want to see your mum like that. No one does.
“She was just in shock. She told me not to look in the garage but…it still haunts me what I saw… Dad suffering like that.”
Ed, now 22, added: “I couldn’t really comprehend what was going on but at the same time I had so many questions.”
It was Ed who broke the terrible news to his 13-year-old brother.
Tommy, now 21 and playing football and studying business management at New York’s Adelphi University, wants answers too.
He said: “We both still ask those questions.
“We’d be mad not to. Did he know how much suffering he would leave?
“But I have come to learn there is nothing we could do.”
Gary played for Leeds, Everton, Newcastle, Bolton and Sheffield United, where he started his managerial career in 2010.
At his 2012 inquest the coroner recorded a narrative verdict and said the star may not have intended to kill himself.
His widow Louise said Gary’s career put a strain on their marriage.
The inquest also heard the ace, 42, sent his wife a text four days before he died in November 2011 talking “in terms of taking his life”.
But Ed insisted Gary was not suffering from the blues before his death at their home near Chester.
He said of his dad: “He wasn’t depressed.
“There was just something in his brain.”
Ed and Tommy were interviewed for Remarkable People, a book by BBC Breakfast presenter Dan Walker. He was one of the last people to see the ace alive when he hosted Football Focus with Gary as a studio pundit.
Dan said he had “pored over everything… said before, during and after” the show.
He added: “I want you to know about the man that he was and the hole he left in many people’s lives… I want you to know sometimes, even though you spend years looking, there are no answers.”
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